In contemporary society, “having it all” has often been hailed as the ultimate objective, particularly for women who grapple with careers, family, and personal development. This idea was informed by the rise of dual-earner families during the post-war era and the feminist movements that characterised the late 20th century. These developments made many believe that happiness is achieved through material well-being, professional growth, and an idealised family life. However, as we progress into the 21st century, this ideal is proving to be deeply flawed, prompting a reassessment of what makes life meaningful. The conversation gradually shifts from “having it all” towards a more realistic and fulfilling notion of “having enough.”
During the 1980s and 1990s, the term “having it all” became popular and was often applied to women who were highly successful in their careers yet maintained harmonious families. The phrase gained traction in the public domain through Helen Gurley Brown’s book Having It All, published in 1982. Brown’s work served as a wake-up call, encouraging women to aspire to success in both their professional and private lives. This idea was further popularised by Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, in which she advised women on how they could claim their place in the professional world without sacrificing their personal lives. However, the truth is that “having it all” is far more complicated than it appears and is not attainable for most people.
One major issue with the concept of “having it all” is that it often leads to a significant amount of stress and burnout. A 2022 study by the Future Forum found that 42% of the global workforce reported experiencing burnout, the highest level since May 2021. Burnout was more prevalent among women (46%) than men (37%), and younger workers were also more likely to report burnout, with 48% of those under 30 feeling this way. The study emphasised that schedule flexibility plays a significant role in mitigating burnout. Employees with no flexibility in their work schedules were 4.6 times more likely to report poor work-life balance and 26% more likely to experience burnout.
According to a Pew Research Center report, the pandemic exacerbated the challenges for working parents, especially mothers. In a 2022 survey, 58% of working mothers with children under 12 reported difficulty handling childcare responsibilities during the pandemic, compared to 43% of fathers. Additionally, 54% of working mothers felt they couldn’t give 100% at work due to parenting responsibilities, a challenge that only 43% of fathers reported facing. These findings suggest that the pursuit of “having it all” often leaves individuals feeling exhausted and unfulfilled rather than happy and accomplished.
Balancing professional duties, parental responsibilities, and personal goals can drain individuals, leaving them with little time or energy for self-expression and personal growth. The pressure to excel in every aspect of life can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure when the idealised version of “having it all” proves impossible to achieve. This constant striving for perfection can create a cycle of stress and dissatisfaction as people continually push themselves to meet unrealistic expectations.
In response to the growing realisation that “having it all” is unattainable, a new movement is emerging that advocates for a more sustainable and fulfilling approach to life—one that centres on the concept of “having enough.” This idea shifts the focus from seeking perfection in every aspect of life to appreciating what is genuinely meaningful and fulfilling. It encourages individuals to define success on their own terms, based on personal values and needs rather than societal expectations.
The philosophy of “having enough” emphasises the importance of finding balance and contentment in life. It recognises that true success is not measured by the quantity of one’s achievements or possessions but by the quality of one’s experiences and relationships. Individuals can lead more meaningful and fulfilling lives by prioritising well-being and satisfaction over the relentless pursuit of more.
Research supports this shift in mindset. The reassessment of work-life priorities has led to a broader acceptance of “having enough” rather than “having it all.” This shift is driven by the recognition that constantly striving for more can lead to significant stress and burnout. Research shows that individuals prioritising intrinsic goals, such as personal growth and meaningful relationships, over extrinsic goals, like wealth and status, report higher life satisfaction and well-being. This suggests that “having enough” is not just a philosophical ideal but a practical approach to achieving a more fulfilling and less stressful life.
The COVID-19 pandemic has also accelerated this reassessment of what constitutes a meaningful life. The global crisis forced many people to reevaluate their priorities as they were confronted with the fragility of life and the importance of health, family, and community. For many, the pandemic served as a wake-up call, highlighting the futility of chasing after material success at the expense of personal well-being. As a result, there has been a growing recognition of the value of “having enough”—of finding contentment in the present moment and the simple pleasures of life.
The need of the hour is for society to redefine its understanding of success in an attainable and satisfying way. This involves recognising that happiness and meaning in life do not depend on “having it all.” Instead, adopting the philosophy of “having enough” can lead to a life characterised by balance, satisfaction, and good health. This shift in perspective has the potential to foster a healthier and more content society, particularly if these values are passed down to future generations.
Inculcating intrinsic goals among young people and teaching them to value what they have can help create lives grounded in significance rather than material wealth. This does not mean giving up ambition or pursuing excellence but finding a happy medium that allows personal satisfaction without the constant pressure to achieve more. By embracing the concept of “having enough,” individuals can focus on what truly matters—personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a sense of purpose.
Finally, it is believed that “having enough” provides an effective remedy against the stress and discontentment that often accompany the pursuit of “having it all.” By redefining success in terms of balance, well-being, and satisfaction, we can build a community where individuals have the opportunity to lead fulfilling lives on their own terms. This shift away from the unrealistic ideal of “having it all” towards the more attainable and meaningful goal of “having enough” is not only a more sustainable approach to life but also a more rewarding one.
